


Black Sheep

by bob_eclipsa_smith



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Gen, Recovery, Reluctancy, Snark from Lapis (duh), ish?, jamzuli?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-26
Updated: 2017-09-26
Packaged: 2019-01-05 14:06:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12191376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bob_eclipsa_smith/pseuds/bob_eclipsa_smith
Summary: Lapis heads out for time alone when feeling particularly cynical about life on Earth. Good thing Jamie happens to be in the same exact spot for an audition.Well... maybe not for Lapis.





	Black Sheep

**Author's Note:**

> Trying my hand at an SU fic. I have no idea why I chose Lapis of all gems to write about, but my friends relate me back to her all the time so why not give it a shot? 
> 
> I don't own Jamie, Lapis, New York or SU.   
> I really wish I owned New York though.

New York

She wasn't even certain why she was here.

New York.

Perhaps to others, it was a place of escape, but to her, it was much too loud. Way too many people whom she wouldn't even spare a second glance to, nor wished to engage in pointless conversations with.

New York.

Steven had shown her this place once. He had called it ‘Empire City’, but Lapis had known the true name from a magazine she had flipped through one too many times.

New York.

It was the land of dreams to some, a sanctum to others. But to Lapis? She knew not.

Perhaps it was but the worst of the worst in terms of brusque humans and barbarism. A place where she could steadily remind herself just how much she hated the Earth and its many horrible inhabitants.

Currently, the slender blue gem was wandering directionless around the winding concrete pathways of the great city, feeling disgusted yet oddly calmed by the various beeps of angry drivers and the spontaneous yells from many, many passerby as they hurried along to their oh-so pressing appointments and raced through life caring about nothing but work or some other trivial human notion.

Lapis wanted to remind them that there was always a chance that they wouldn't make it through that day. That at any fleeting moment they might be hit by a car going much too fast, or fall from one of the thin, tall buildings if only by accident and clumsiness… but she assumed that might've been too morbid and random to blurt out.

She shrugged nonchalantly. Maybe, maybe not.

Humans were so pitifully fragile. Lapis could go up to one and punch them hard enough in the face and their head would simply collapse in on itself, should she ever had such a compulsion.

Not that she would ever do such a thing. Lapis had some restrictions after all. Steven being the most prominent. Peridot and her morals being the next couple.

So as she skittered around the hustle and bustle of the everyday crowd, she felt only a twinge of envy. One she had not felt towards Peridot in quite a long time. But it was hard not to feel jealousy for the small green gem as she was simply better than Lapis in every single possible way.

Smarter. Kinder. Funnier. More helpful.

On second thought, no. As if Lapis would ever stoop so low as to helping those Crystal Gems. Traitors to their Homeworld.

( _was it hers anymore?_ )

An indignant huff and then Lapis was stalking instead of walking, muttering to herself about the Crystal Gems and their barbaric ways. Stammering incoherent sentences about perfect Peridot, Earth and yet another prison she found herself confined to.

She'd gained some half-interested looks by some passerby, but they soon grew disinterested, perhaps rushing to get to those aforementioned appointments with a life that they cared way too much for and the partners that may or may not have actually loved them.

Mayhap it was her instinctive cynicism for the world around her, or perhaps it had been the inattention to her surroundings that drew Lapis to instant surprise as she tripped on the stairs to some large hole ( _did the sign say subway?_ ) and tumbled none too gently down the aforementioned stairs.

It was this very cynicism that caused Lapis Lazuli to simply sit down where she had fallen and mirthlessly chortle about just how stupid she had become from spending too much time on Earth.

/./

She first spotted him amidst the crowd of people who did not spare the fallen blue girl a second glance. Lapis thought he looked vaguely familiar, as if he were one of the people her eyes had glossed over when Steven had taken her by the hand to meet the residents of Beach City.

What was his name?

Jerry? John? Jack? Larry?

Oh, whatever. It didn't matter. They didn't matter.

At least that's what she told herself until he was by her side, concerned chocolate brown eyes regarding her with a slight bit of panic.

Another factor that Lapis didn't particularly enjoy in humans. The naïve emotions shown plainly upon their faces. In all the places she had flown to in the universe, she had never before met any race so fragile and soft.

And so when Jerry, John, Jack or Larry started shaking her shoulders in a panicked fashion, and asking her if she was alright, Lapis flinched away and pushed him off of her.

“Just what do you think you're doing?” She snapped, irritated by this human man’s audacity to touch her. She only became more irritated with his reaction to her snark as it softened her hard exterior just a tad.

He had the nerve to look offended.

“I-I just was checking to see if you were alright?” His sentence lifted at the end, poising as a question. She rolled her eyes instinctively, folding her cerulean blue arms across her chest.

“Why?” She asked plainly. “I'm fine.”

The man shook his head, sidestepping the many people passing by, the majority of which sparing the odd pair a sidelong glance. Lapis, however had only eyes for the obstinate human before her. And he only had eyes for her. “You just fell down like two flights of stairs. I'd be shocked if you were alright.”

Her heavy lidded gaze practically exuded dispassion. “I told you, creepy guy. I'm fine.”

He held up his hands in mock surrender, then surveyed her closer. Jerry, John, Jack or Larry furrowed his thick brows together, pinching the bridge of his nose as if he had forgotten something important.

Lapis stood up, brushing dirt off her personage. “Okay, weirdo,” she said sarcastically. “If you're just gonna stand here staring at me then I'm gonna go.”

She didn't get far in her grand exit.

It may have been due to her instinctive limping at the aching pang in her left ankle, but more likely it was the inhibiting hand wrapped around her wrist, anchoring her firmly in place.

Oh, boy. Now he'd done it.

She whirled on him, cerulean blue eyes the exact shade of her skin flashing with anger and barely concealed residual fright. “What the hell?! Get off me, human!”

He was unperturbed, perhaps newly accustomed to Lapis’ hostility and tenancy to yell at those who pissed her off. His eyes were curious, openly pondering. “Aren't you...one of Steven’s friends? A...what's it called?” He snapped his fingers, shutting his eyes in deep concentration. They flew open and his mouth pulled into a sunny smile. “A Crystal Gem?”

Lapis’ lips curled into a scowl. She yanked her hand back from the possession of this familiar stranger. “I am _not_ a Crystal Gem.” She hissed, preparing to stalk away.

“Wait! You're the one who...stole the ocean, right? The one who doesn't really like Earth?”

She looked at him curiously. “Who told you that? How do you know so much about me?”

The man shrugged. “Steven, I guess. I dunno how else.”

Lapis was dumbfounded. “Steven? He wouldn't share all these facts about me to some random stranger!”

The man tilted his head, shoulder length brown hair ruffling with the motion. His lips tilted into a slight frown. “Well yeah, I guess, but I'm not a stranger to Steven. I'm his mailman.”

“Mailman?” Lapis echoed, the syllables unfamiliar on her tongue.

He grinned. “Yeah! I'm Jamie! Nice to meet you!” He stuck his hand out, palm up. Lapis stared at it dispassionately, distinctly wondering if he was going to attack her.

Upon realizing that Lapis had virtually no knowledge of Earth culture, Jamie took her hand and shook it once. She frowned at him in warning and he took his hand away.

“Now you tell me your name.”

“Why.”

“Cause it's what we do.”

“Why.”

“Cause it's polite and I need something to call you.”

She rolled her eyes. “That's stupid.”

“No it's not.”

She scoffed. “Psh. Yeah, it is.”

“Psh. No it's not.”

“Yeah.”

“No.”

“Yeah.”

“No.”

“ _Yeah_.”

“Nope.”

“Ugh!!! Fine, I'm Lapis! Lapis Lazuli!”

He grinned that annoyingly guileless grin. Lapis wanted to punch him. “It's an honor to meet you, Miss Lazuli.”

She rolled her eyes. “Yeah. Okay.”

/./

She had no idea why, but Jamie insisted completely on her coming up to his apartment. He claimed it was dangerous to linger on the streets of Empire City for too long and her ankle apparently needed immediate medical attention.

Lapis wanted oh-so badly to point out that ‘Empire City’ was in actuality called New York City, and that her injuries would heal on their own, but she got the distinct impression that Jamie was lonely.

So going by her more sensitive morals, she humored him slightly, and allowed the mailman to pull her through the chaotic crowds and winding streets until they came upon a building. Not even a building really. More like a shack trying to pass itself off as a building. It was short and stout with rust colored bricks that were deteriorating profusely and a multitude of windows, each covered with a thin layer of grime. Lapis looked dispassionately up at the ‘building’, watching with vague interest as a shadow of a man disappeared behind a dirt covered curtain after being spotted.

She curled her lip in disgust, whatever slight pity she held for Jamie diminishing.

“Nope. Sorry. I've got to go.”

He snagged her hand again. “Wait, please! It's been so long since I've seen anyone from Beach City. Can you just...come inside for a little while?”

She looked at the pitiful mailman, whose chocolate brown eyes had widened with unshed tears, and lips puckered into a convincing puppy dog face. She sighed.

“Jamie…” Lapis warned. “This place is disgusting.”

His puppy dog eyes intensified, becoming agonizing. God, why did humans have to be so _emotional_?!

“Jamie…”

“ _Pleeeeeeeeeeease_???”

Lapis facepalmed. Her flat voice muffled by a hand. “Jamie, I have to go home. Peridot doesn't even know where I am.”

“ _Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee_ -”

“Ok! Fine!”

He snagged her hand once more. “Yessss! Come, fair maiden! We must hurry if we are to make it inside by sundown!”

Lapis was too startled to pry her hand away. “I'm sorry, _what_?!”

Jamie didn't answer but she knew he was grinning that ridiculously guileless grin.

/./

“Do you like tacos?!”

Lapis walked idly around the establishment, slender blue fingers caressing the soft material of the sofa. It was certainly homey, if not absolutely ridiculous looking. The television box sat on the wall, above a little table with those paper things Peridot called books. Little pictures adorned the walls ( _A smiling little boy with eyes identical to Jamie's and a grin eerily similar; A brown haired couple that must've been his birth givers with their arms wrapped protectively around the same boy and a girl that looked like him; A beaming lady with cascading auburn curls being toppled by that same boy; And a man easily recognizable as Jamie upon an odd wooden floor, wearing a ridiculously tall, white hair-wig and glasses much too big for his head. He sported the same effortless grin, and his eyes were lit with impish delight._ ) Subconsciously, Lapis’ fingers trailed upon the one of the man she had just met, her eyes studying this unfamiliar expression that she had yet to experience.

“Hey,”

She jumped at the sudden sound, whirling about to face Jamie and his oddly concerned visage. Soft brown eyes eerily reminiscent of melted chocolate studied her, and he stepped back when he took in her startled appearance.

“Lapis?”

She turned back to the pictures, unwilling to look real Jamie in the eyes.

She was horrible with people, much, much better with not-real people. People who could not speak, people who could do nothing but smile upon the screen and spend their days frozen.

People who could not hurt her.

He placed his hand on her shoulder. Lapis tensed. He took it away.

A pale, flesh-toned hand touched the picture with the smiling boy. “This is me.” He said.

Lapis was confused. “No it's not. You're not that small.”

He chuckled in amusement while Lapis just stared at him, not understanding the humor. “No! No! No!” He spat between laughs. “It's not me now! It's me when I was little!”

Lapis frowned, looking at the picture once more. “When you were little? You mean you didn't always look like the way you are now?”

Jamie shook his head still laughing. “No!”

“Oh,” she said softly. “I didn't know.”

“You didn't know?”

She shook her head. “No. Gems don't grow. They're not born, they're made. And when they're made, they look exactly the way they stay.”

Jamie fell silent. “Hm. I don't think I would want to stay frozen like that.”

Lapis said nothing, turning her attention back to the pictures.

“Do you...do you like tacos? I, uh, made tacos if you want food.”

Lapis shook her head. “I don't eat.” She said plainly.

“You've never tried Señor Jamie's tacos before.” He countered, wiggling his eyebrows provocatively. “Come on, Señorita Lazuli; you know you want to.”

She heaved a bodily sigh.

To remain obstinately besides this picture, or to condemn herself to a dinner with Steven’s mailman?

Decisions, decisions.

/./

“How's your ankle doing?” He asked her before shoving a burrito into his mouth-hole.

“I told you, it's fine. My gem wasn't damaged so my ankle is _fine_.”

He picked up another burrito, nodding thoughtfully before taking a rather gargantuan bite. As he chewed, the mailman gestured to Lapis’ untouched burrito and folded arms before looking into her opaque blue eyes. “Aren't you going to eat your burrito?”

She stifled yet another sigh, placing a cheek in one of her hands while drumming the other one indolently on the wooden table. “Again, Jamie. I don't eat. Not your burritos. Not anything.”

He frowned petulantly, absentmindedly picking the soft shell of the burrito, exposing the meaty flesh underneath as he pondered her statement. Lapis’ lip curled up in discomfort.

“Why don't you eat, Lapis?” He asked in innocent nonchalance.

Her snarky answer was both expected and dreaded. “I don't see how it's of any concern to you, you nosy weirdo. Why in hell do you care so much, huh? Just leave me alone!” She yelled at him, becoming increasingly annoyed with this infuriating human.

A twinge of hurt flickered across his face, unintentionally thawing some of Lapis’ icy demeanor.

“I'm sorry.”

“It's okay. You don't have to tell me.” He shook his head, rising from his seat while conveniently averting his eyes from Lapis. “This was a stupid idea anyways. You can go back to Peridot now, I guess. God only knows you don't want to spend more time with an idiot like me.”

“Jamie…”

He waved her off, slinking sadly back into the back room. His voice carried to her through the walls in the form of a muffled echo. “No, no,” he lamented. “It's fine. I'm just going to stay here. Alone. Oh! Woe is me!” Wailing sobs followed suit, accompanied by many small sniffles and pitiful cries.

Lapis, who had slunk stealthily over to where Jamie was being unnecessarily dramatic, squatted next to the shut door, both listening to Jamie's whimpers and contemplating her next move.

On one hand, this had been exactly what she had wanted. To leave this cubby and to leave New York, bidding farewell to the kind, but creepy, human who prodded and poked until she revealed her deepest and darkest secrets.

On the other hand, he was _crying_.

Was he really that lonely that he starved for any type of contact? Did he miss his home so much as to cling to anyone or anything reminiscent of Beach City? And was she such a horribly selfish person should she choose to leave him here, rendering him alone once more?

But he was a _human_.

But he was _crying_.

He was a living, breathing being. No matter just how disturbing or gross their barbarous manners were, human beings still had feelings. And for whatever reason, Lapis had hurt his fragile feelings with her snark and she would further hurt him by leaving.

She heaved a sigh, listening as Jamie's sobs descended into pitiful whimpers.

“Jamie…”

Silence and then, “What do you want?! Haven't you done _enough_?”

Wow. That hurt. A lot.

“Okay… I won't pretend _that_ didn't hurt.” She replied with trademark sarcasm.

He didn't reply. Lapis rolled her eyes instinctively, pounding her head against the door. “Jamie, seriously. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. Can you come outside?”

Silence.

Lapis shut her eyes. “Please?”

Small footsteps grew closer and closer until a lock clicked and a brown head accompanied by bloodshot brown eyes poked out. “Yes?”

“I'm sorry.” She said.

His eyes narrowed rapidly. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Really, really sure?”

Lapis sighed. “Yes.”

“Really, really, _really_ -”

“Jamie I am really, really, really sorry. But if you say ‘really’ one more time then I will throw you into the middle of the ocean and you will never see the light of day again.”

He paled. “Okay. I believe you.”

And then that stupid boy pulled her into his chest, wrapping strong arms around her slight form. She was too startled to pull away, and when he placed his head upon her shoulder, she was certain her cheeks shone a deep indigo.

“I accept your apology, Madame Lazuli. Thanks for staying with me.”

Lapis tensed, but soon thereafter relaxed, tentatively snaking her arms around him as well.

/./

“Shut your eyes, Jamie. I have never done this with any human other than Steven, and I don't want you freaking out.”

He tightened his grip on her hand, the other trembling from its dutiful task of covering his eyes. “Okay.” His voice trembled as much as his hand. “Are you sure you want to do whatever it is you're about to do?”

Lapis was surprised to feel her lips turn up in a mirthful grin, her mood improving greatly as she felt the wind upon her skin and the breeze blowing her hair. “Funny! That was exactly what I was about to ask you! Are you sure you want to do this?”

He paused, but then nodded slightly. Lapis’ grin widened. In one fluid motion, the thespian was hurtled onto her back, his warm arms curling tightly around her neck, hands lightly brushing her hairline.

Lapis shivered, but she was rather certain gems didn't get cold.

When she was entirely sure that Jamie was safely secured onto her back, she allowed her wings to unfurl, flapping them experimentally. Her grin widened even more as she felt the familiar power that came with even one single flap.

Jamie was silent, but his grip tightened around her neck, his warm breath tickling her gem.

She shivered once more, tensing instinctively.

“Are you ready, Jamie?”

A muffled, ‘yeah’ escaped from her new friend. Well, that was good enough for Lapis.

She bunched up her legs, tightening her grip on Jamie before hurtling herself off the top of the building, giving her wings a starting flap that launched them headlong into the sky.

Lapis’ laugh rang through the air, clear and high as a bell. She felt the usual adrenaline take over completely, all worries and thoughts of imprisonment remaining on the ground. In the sky, Lapis was free, she could be whoever she wanted, do whatever she wanted.

In the sky, Lapis could lose herself. There was no mirrors, no Earth, no ocean, no Malachite, no Jasper. Just her and the clouds.

Something shifted on her back, and a loud whooping yell ricocheted through the air.

Well, just her, the clouds and one human whom Lapis had grown oddly accustomed to.

Jamie laughed mirthfully, Lapis joining in as well. She almost wished she wasn't below him, so that she could see his every expression. Every delighted smile, the childish gleam in his eyes.

Everything that made him so very _human_.

Lapis didn't really want to admit it to herself, but at the back of her mind, she knew that the human man-child was growing on her.

“Lapis! This is awesome! You're awesome!”

Her heart swelled with warmth. She had heard Peridot get called ‘ _awesome_ ’ before, but she had never before experienced the adjective herself. It really was quite wonderful. She smiled, but she didn't reply.

She didn't need to. Based on the little hug he gave her, she knew that Jamie understood.

/./

Lapis set the mailman down upon the very top, watching him carefully as he maneuvered his way over to her, a small portion of fear replacing the awe that had been so present on his face when flying.

They were at the top of the highest building in New York City. She was surprised he was doing so well with the heights when they were a near two-thousand feet above the ground.

He took a seat besides her, grasping the railing tightly as not to fall. Jamie's eyes studied her carefully, brown eyes like melted chocolate unnerving in their ability to read her. “Lapis?”

She didn't look at him, keeping her gaze firmly on the city lights below. They really were quite small. Insignificant as little ants down there.

“Lapis?”

She shut her eyes. No. He was prying again. He now thought them to be friends.

_You've let him in too far, Lapis. Now he's going to hurt you like everyone else has in the past._

“Lapis!”

She didn't realize she had pierced little crescent shaped marks into her hands with her fingers until Jamie gently took her hand ( _currently balled into a fist_ ) and pried her fingers apart.

“Lapis? Are you okay?”

“I'm fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“I'm sure.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

He stopped the relentless digging then, perhaps realizing that he had hit a nerve.

She was grateful for that.

/./

Time passed on with the same pace it had always gone. And yet, the streets of New York remained alive with skittering people, yellow cabs with impatient drivers and advertisement signs lively with flashing, artificial lights.

To gem and human, the trivial human activities seemed to be quite redundant, especially when two-thousand feet in the air.

“Do ya’ dare me to launch my shoe from up here?”

Lapis smiled at the innocent query, but shook her head. “Peridot once told me that at this height, a falling shoe could kill someone.”

Jamie's expression fell. “Oh. Ooops.” He ran a hand through his silky brown hair, uncanny enthusiasm bouncing back immediately. “Never mind, then. I shall find something else to do!”

Lapis frowned, and turned to look at her new friend. “Are you bored? Cause we can go back if you want.”

His eyes sparked in panic and he snagged Lapis’ hand as she attempted to stand up. “No! No, Lapis! I'm fine! I don't want to go back just yet. This is...nice.”

“Oh.” Lapis plopped down besides him once more. “Uh...okay.”

An awkward silence descended upon the pair, one common amidst acquaintances. Especially those involving one Miss Lapis Lazuli and her particularly sardonic mindset revolving around the prejudice against humans.

She turned her gaze to the sky, unaware of the awestruck thespian watching her every move with something akin to childish curiosity. It was a displeasing sight to the flighty gem when only a few stars shone brightly amidst the booming city below.

This was yet another reason she preferred the quiet serenity of the barn, and the wide open sky filled with hundreds upon hundreds of white stars.

“I still see Homeworld,” Lapis said wistfully. “I can always see Homeworld.”

He was oddly thoughtful and empathetic, in contrast to the usual overly boisterous flair. “Homeworld?” He echoed softly. “Is that where you're from?”

She dipped her head in a solemn nod, pulling her knees protectively up to her chest in an attempt to hide herself. Lapis kept her eyes firmly on the star glowing brighter than any other, knowing that if she looked at Jamie, then she would lose whatever little composure she had: the last of a depleting resource.

“Do you miss it at all?”

Her answer came after a half hearted glare cast his way, an instinctive jab concealing Lapis’ vulnerability like an opaque mask. When she caught a glimpse of Jamie's offended expression, she dialed down the snark, letting an unnecessary breath of air go with a lengthy sigh. “Yes. Yes I miss it very much.”

He scooted closer, a large hand lightly brushing her right pinky finger. Lapis looked down at it, slightly amused by the contrast of the skin tones, but Jamie didn't even seem to realize the proximity at all. He was too busy attempting to uncover the enigma that was Lapis Lazuli.

The aforementioned gem wasn't quite sure how she felt about that.

“So if you miss it that much, then why don't you go back?”

Lapis took in a sharp breath, the memories flooding in. ( _The sky. Same thing over and over and over again. Agony. Why didn't she have any body? She was just consciousness. A being. That was all. A little boy with bright eyes and a heartfelt smile. An affectionate personality that loved everything and everyone. Freedom. A body. A voice. Panic. Hatred. **The Crystal Gems**. They had done this to her. They hadn't **let her out!** Retaliation. Steven panicking. He was one of them. Flee. Warn Steven. Fly back home. Can't fly back home. Find another way, must find another way!-—_ )

“Lapis??”

( _Water. So much water on this horrible planet. Have to make a tower. Have to get home. Have to make a tower. Have to get home. Have to get home. Have to get home! **Why isn't it stretching far enough?!** No. No. No. Trapped again. Steven? Why? Why doesn't he leave? Doesn't he understand that I just want to be left alone?! **I want to go home—!** )_

“Lapis!”

( _He helped her. He set her free. Now he's given her wings yet again. Why? Why was he so sweet? She would do anything for him. For Steven. Home. Cornered. Panic. Pain. Screaming. Trapped once more. A burly gem with a brusque snarl and an animalistic mane of hair. Jasper. A slender gem with mechanical parts and a triangular hairdo. Peridot. Trapped again. **When will this nightmare end?!** )_

“ _Lapis_!!!”

She blinked, staring straight into pools of chocolate brown. The blue gem let out a small shriek jumping back instinctively, suddenly realizing that Jamie was practically in her face. A face laced with human concern locked upon her frightened expression, and he scooted closer to her yet again, naïvely undaunted.

“Lapis? Are you okay?”

She opened her mouth, preparing herself to blurt out her mechanical answer of ‘ _I'm fine’_ , but soon closed it again, the words fizzling and dying on her lips. Lapis frowned. Was that what she really wanted though? To go on as if she were really fine? To keep pretending that she were really accustoming herself to this horrible world that hated her and that she hated equally back? Why did she have to fight everything? Why did she have to be so closed off to everything and everyone who even attempted to help her?

Was she doomed to this forever? To snarl and yell at anyone who even tried to show her an inkling of kindness, ultimately protecting herself and sending them away?

Lapis wasn't sure, but something stirring inside, an emotion she had not yet had experience with, was pushing her to let him in. To let in this little mailman with the soft, trusting eyes and affectionate smile and allow him to guard those defensive walls with her.

And so the answer didn't come out mechanical. Lapis didn't even say that she was fine.

Instead she wove a tale as old as she, of a little blue gem who was much too naïve and much too trusting for the horrible universe. She told an interested Jamie of her life as an aristocrat, a life by Blue Diamond’s side. She relayed her mission to Jamie, of the crushing war and just how afraid she had been from the sounds and the large bismuths running about shattering gems left and right. She told him of her imprisonment inside of that dreaded awful mirror, of the countless millennia filled with soundless screams, pointless crying and many many days passing her by, the world passing her by as she remained there _trapped_.

She spoke fondly of Steven and of the time she and he had spent together in the first eventful day of her life as a mirror. She told Jamie of her freedom, and just how _alive_ she felt to have a solid form, to have hair tickling the nape of her neck and limbs that adhered to her every command.

Lapis told him of the Crystal Gems and the fight with them she had before stealing the ocean away for her own selfish purposes. A bit of remorse leaked into her tone then, and Jamie placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder in response, squeezing it gently.

When his hand slipped from her shoulder, she confided in a quietly listening Jamie on how Steven had saved her life yet again, healing her broken gem and giving her new aspirations to _finally go home._

And then she told him of the reactions Homeworld had to a rogue lapis lazuli appearing suddenly on their planet. She whispered about her Diamond turning away from her, sending her to yet another prison.

And eventually back to Earth with two others.

So no, she told him, she couldn't go back to Homeworld. They would forever view her as a traitor, a rebel. _A Crystal Gem_.

“I'm sorry.”

She choked out a bitter laugh. “Oh? Why, Jamie? You didn't do anything wrong.”

“No it's...it's not like that. When we humans feel bad for something that happened, we generally apologize. Ya’ know, to let the other person know they care.”

Lapis tightened her arms around herself, resting her head upon the crook between her knees. “I didn't ask for you to care.” She said bitterly.

“God, no one has to ask, Lapis. That's just sad.”

She said nothing for a while, feeling a tad bit of remorse for making Jamie listen to her story and then to shut him out once more. What kind of a person was she? ( _God, no one has to ask, Lapis. That's just sad._ )

“I know, Jamie. I'm being a clod. Sorry.”

“Yeah you are a clod.”

She glared at the grinning thespian. “Don't push it.”

“Ok.” He paused. “If it makes you feel any better, I'm not so accepted either. I mean, you know I'm a fantastic actor.” A dramatic hair flip. “But my family doesn't exactly agree with my choice. Hell, I hardly see them. Between working as a mailman and going from audition to audition, I barely have any time to see my family. My dad? He's an accountant. My sister? The one you saw in the picture? She's a lawyer. My mom? She's a medical examiner. Actor? ‘That's not a high enough paying job, James. You need to get yourself a _real_ job.’”

“But you _are_ an actor.”

“Exactly. I'm not a doctor, lawyer or anything else in that field. I'm an _actor_.”

Lapis smiled at him. “You made the right choice. I couldn't see you being truly happy in any other job.”

He smiled back at her. “So did you,” he pointed out. “You may not be a Homeworld gem anymore and you're definitely not a Crystal Gem. But you're Lapis. And that's pretty cool. At least to me.”

She averted her gaze, stifling the warmth she felt festering in her heart. “Thank you, Jamie.”

He punched her lightly on the shoulder. “Hey, anytime. We're both a couple of black sheep aren't we? I'm not surprised we get along.”

He yawned, checking his arm watch thing for what Lapis presumed was the time.

“It's getting pretty late, Madame. You wanna fly me back home?”

“Of course.”

She spread her wings, allowing Jamie to hop onto her back once more. As she took off into the night, she finally took the time to watch her companion. His awed expressions, eyes alight with human curiosity, and a twinge of characteristic kindness that she had always associated only with Steven.

She smiled slightly as she dove through the clouds, stifling giggles when Jamie let out yells of delight.

/./

She dropped him off in his room, explaining to him that she would be happy to visit once more, but for now she had to go back to her barn. He pulled her aside, thanked her for the ride and bid her farewell in his typically dramatic manner. Jamie told her before she departed that it was fine to feel the way she did. That feeling a sense of disillusionment was a sure sign that she was _human_.

Lapis was positive she had never been told that before.

/./

She took refuge upon the roof of the squat little building, directly above where Jamie was peacefully sleeping. Lapis retained a steady vigilance on the man child from her position, not quite ready to leave yet.

The sun was rising, New York awakening for yet another day of monotony and work. Another day in the rut of society.

Amidst the growing noise and steadily increasing amount of people littering the streets, Lapis sat still as a statue, watching as the multitude of stars disappeared behind a clearing blue sky and youthful sun. Above her, Homeworld’s star shone as bright as ever, mocking her with its brilliance.

But it was a facade. A fantasy.

Homeworld was far from a perfect shining star on a clear summer’s night.

In reality it was a place of oppression, of imprisonment.

Perhaps Earth wasn't that bad. After all, Lapis was finally free. No Malachite. No Jasper. No mirror. Just a spread of land before her and a bunch of humans that may not have been as bad as Lapis originally thought ( _Steven. Connie... Jamie)._

Besides, she had nowhere to go. Might as well stop living in the past and start enjoying what was surrounding her.

Maybe Jamie was right. She was a black sheep.

Not a Homeworld Gem.

Not a Crystal Gem.

But other. Something uniquely _her_.

She was Lapis. And that was pretty cool.

Lapis smiled slightly as she listened to the sounds of the rambunctious city that she had once loathed so much, as she listened to Jamie’s light snores that every so often carried to her by way of wind.

Lapis looked up at the sky one last time, watching the star of her former Homeworld fade into the blue atmosphere of Earth and the bright light of Earth’s sun.

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me if you like me it! This was a random venture for me, and it's my first SU fic. 
> 
> Thanks for reading it!!! 
> 
> Ok bye


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